Don't Drink And Derive

I am sitting here, and lying in front of me is an integration question. I am supposed to show that 'the area of the shaded region bound by the curve, the x-asxis and the lines x=1 and x=9 is 24 and four ninths'. And I don't know how to do it. That's not completely true - it isn't so much that I don't know how to do it as it is that I know I'm doing it correctly but the answer remains more elusive than a successful AQA remark (Bitter? Me?). Suddenly, the floodgates open as I realise that I know what the key is to the question! Numbers tumble into their compartments, oiling the formulae into a dance of functions and indices and then - presto! Twenty four and four ninths. The successful feeling that gushes from this is second to few others. The feeling that I have completed something, that I have achieved a solution from my own reasoning and thought. It is a rare moment that reminds me of my hopes, dreams and goals. That moment where the clouds part and the light beams through again, reminding me that every night must have a day to follow it, and that the future is, by definition, not something I can have right now. But my success would not have been as sweet without the minutes spent deliberating, despairing and softly swearing under my breath at the collection of dead ends, illogical equations and failed expansions that I made. The sweet of the success would not have been sweet without the sourness of the preceding moments. Which (as per usual) leads me nicely onto a little philosophical thought for you. Many people often say that a world full of suffering can not be a world full of God. The conception of God for most people is an entity that is both all powerful and all loving - someone who can do something about evil and suffering, and someone who wants to. It is a common challenge to ask how a world with evil can be one that God exists in. This stems from our desire for happiness - we all want to live in a world that fits our dreams, where we are ultimately happy and our every wish is fulfilled. Modern day thought, controlled by Utilitarianism and the feeling that happiness is what should be sought after, is dominated by a need for happiness. But perhaps we are searching for the wrong thing? In Huxley's Brave New World a protagonist rejects happiness inducing drugs and asserts his 'right to be unhappy'. This has even been used to criticise utilitarian thought. Without the knowledge of suffering, pain, evil and distress then we could never understand the concept of pleasure, joy, love, compassion and the Good. Maybe the maths questions are there so we can understand the correct solutions. Maybe the problems in this world are here so we can comprehend the correct path in life. Maybe. Or maybe Mathematics just screws with your head?

The Pinboard

This week has been a heap of responsibilities and all kinds of mess that I don't really want to be a part of right now. Supposedly, this will eventually right itself and I'll have less to do. Right now, though, there is far to much to do. Thinking of reading Enduring Love? I'd recommend it. Just don't read it more than once. As I'm discovering, it loses whatever charm it managed to grab onto after its second outing. Thinking of taking exams? I wouldn't recommend that quite so much. Currently Listening To - The sound of my sanity disintegrating. It sounds something like this. Site Of The Week deviantART - A site full to bursting with superb artwork of every type. An amazing site for anyone looking to look at art - an even better site if you want your own art criticised. Blog Of The Week Mufkin's Musings - Got to be the first of my list, simply because he seems to speak such strange truths so often. He hasn't blogged for a while but don't be put off - have a trawl through his older stuff and see what happens. Quote Of The Week

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."

Susan Ertz

Reasons Why You Shouldn't Dress In Drag

Number Four - Impressing the need for good standards of appearance, behaviour and conduct becomes slightly watery when you're asked if dressing as a woman classes as good standards.

Think Of A Number...

"Don't you ever get bored of Philosophy?" he asked, waving a green book at me. "Not really..." I replied. He explained that the book was designed to interpret philosophy through science fiction films. I'm reading it now to see if he was right to say that it was so awful. I don't think he's right about it. The book might be a little dry, a little inaccessible. But it's about discovery. And many paths like that can be a little hard going. But discovery - and that is what I believe Philosophy is all about - is one of the most important things we can do. You're all doing philosophy, I guess. When I think about what philosophy can be about, the exploration of life and our goals, then you've all been philosophic in the past. You're reading this website for a reason. It might not be clear to you what that reason is exactly, but it's there. you're reading it, perhaps, because you want to know what I think. Maybe knowing what I think will help you befriend me? Maybe you want to broaden your horizons - that might land you your placement at a top-flying university, if you do it enough. Or maybe it's something so subtle you don't know it's there - it doesn't matter. You're here for a reason, because you've got a goal. Everyone has a goal in life (even if it's not to have a goal, I suppose). It might be money. Power. Fame. Family. Sex. Food. Validity. It might not be quite as ultimate as that. Perhaps you'd like a Honda Civic. You may want to go out with some preppy girl that you've been dreaming of for a good few weeks. Goals can be big, small, long-term, short-term - whatever. We've all got them. And quite frankly, that's A Good Thing. Goals mean we're thinking, thinking about our actions, our lives, our world. That is why I don't get bored of philosophy, because I can now see more questions than can ever be answered in one lifetime floating around me. But what I find dangerous (ever since my conversation with the book-waver) is that maybe some of us are searching too hard. Maybe our goals are too hollow. And so this, I think, is the purpose of my article. To warn you of what a one-word dream can actually mean. The Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy is, as it modestly refers to itself, a "wholly remarkable book". An adventure of timeless and spaceless proportions as its heroes travel to the ends of the universe and back again on a noble Quest. And what Quest, you might ask? Well the trilogy of five books begins with it's hero Arthur Dent waking up and being told by his friend Ford (who turns out to be from another planet) that not only is the universe teeming with life, but that his particular bit of the universe is about to be demolished. Indeed, by the time you're into the fourth chapter the planet Earth is well and truly destroyed, along with (almost) its entire population. And if you're waiting for the tenuous link to this article, here it comes. Later in the book you find out that a computer called Deep Thought was once constructed by a race of people on a faraway planet to find, as they put it,

"...the Answer!"

"The Answer?" said Deep Thought. "The answer to what?"

"Life!" urged Fook.

"The Universe!" said Lunkwill.

"Everything!" they said in chorus.

Which, unfortunately, takes seven and a half million years. However, the computer works diligently and seven and a half million years later we see the account of Deep Thought's unveiling. It's a slightly long excerpt, but the unveiling is quite a grand session. The climax runs as follows:

"Good morning," said Deep Thought at last.

"Er... Good morning, O Deep Thought," said Loonquawl nervously, "Do you have... er, that is..."

"And answer for you?" interrupted Deep Thought majestically. "Yes. I have."

The two men shivered with expectancy. Their waiting had not been in vain.

"There really is one?" breathed Phouchg.

"There really is one," confirmed Deep Thought.

"To Everything? To the great Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?"

"Yes."

Both of the men had been trained for this moment, their lives had been a preparation for it, they had been selected at birth as those who would witness the answer, but even so they found themselves gasping and squirming like excited children.

"And you're ready to give it to us?" urged Loonquawl.

"I am."

"Now?"

"Now," said Deep Thought.

They both licked their dry lips.

"Though I don't think," added Deep Thought, "That you're going to like it."

"Doesn't matter!" said Phouchg. "We must know it! Now!"

"Now?" inquired Deep Thought.

"Yes! Now..."

"Alright," said the computer and settled into silence again. The two men fidgeted. The tension was unbearable.

"You're really not going to like it," observed Deep Thought.

"Tell us!"

"Alright," said Deep Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question..."

"Yes...!"

"Of Life, the Universe andEverything..." said Deep Thought.

"Yes...!"

"Is..."

"Yes....!!!....?"

"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.

Douglas Adams, the late author of the series, later said that Forty-Two had been chosen simply because it was the funniest number he could think of. The entire book is a wry look at much of philosophy, politics and our way of life, but the big message is contained within the big quest itself - to discover what The Question was in the first place! The grand designs of all those seven and a half million years to discover the answer had culminated in the realisation that no-one really knew what they were looking for anyway.

What am I trying to say, quoting from a book that few of you will read and even fewer find entertaining? Well, although I'd like to think that this site will change the way you think, act and perceive the world, I know that it probably won't. But, as I've already said, I know that you've got dreams, you've got hopes, you've got aspirations (or should that be expectations?). And, as I've already said, I think they're dangerous things. Time is one thing that you can get, no matter how big your dreams. If you look too far into the future, the present begins to shrivel up. In short - you've got to learn to tame your dreams, or you'll be left empty handed.

It was a long long time before anyone spoke.

Out of the corner of his eye Phoutchg could see the sea of tense expectant faces down in the square outside.

"We're going to get lynched aren't we?" he whispered.

"It was a tough assignment," said Deep Thought mildly.

"Forty-two!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"

"I checked it very thoroughly," said the computer, "And that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've enver actually known what the question is."

Do you?